What I Have Learned - Take Eighteen

I have learned that there is some very good relationship advice to be had.

Over the past decade or so I have been to many relationship counselors. Before getting divorced, we did try to work through our problems and we sought professional counseling. I have mixed feelings on counseling. I think it can be a positive experience if both parties go into it with the right mindset, and with the right counselor. But I think most people seek a counselor when it is too late.

I honestly believe a couple should GO to counseling at the beginning of their relationship, to learn the positive tools needed to help make a relationship work, before anger and bitterness and hurt have already set in. That being said, I have learned some helpful ideas to take forth into the future.

My favorite advice I was ever given was to think of a relationship like a bank. There will be days when you will deposit more, and there will be days when you withdraw more. But the positive balance comes when there is always enough in that bank to draw from. None of us are perfect, we make mistakes, we say and do things we shouldn't. But if you haven't put enough of yourself into the relationship in a positive manner, you won't have those things to draw on. The little things, the kind words, the happy moments, they feed into this bank. Those things really do add up after time. And having all those wonderful things in this bank, makes those hard times a little easier to deal with. So you always need to deposit more than you ever hope to withdraw.

The bank advice isn't just for a romantic relationship. The same principles can apply to a friendship, a professional relationship, even a parental relationship.

So for those you love and care about, start making a few more deposits each day. Grow your balance and your relationship will grow with it.