What I Have Learned - Take Twenty-Eight

I have learned that I am apparently the worst Mom ever.

I have been a Mom for exactly 5003 days. For most of those days, I have considered myself to be a pretty good Mom, a really good Mom even some days. But that run has come to an end. A screeching halt. I am officially the worst Mom ever.

The reason for such a title varies by child. As I previously mentioned, with #1 it is because I actually CARE about his grades. I want him to succeed, I want him to do well, I want him to excel. I want him to be the absolute best he can be. Thus, putting me in the 'not so popular' Mom category.

#2 - she is in 6th grade. The reasons vary by the minute with her. Most recently, she had her school dance, and wait for it.... I wanted a picture of her all dressed up. I didn't ask for a picture AT the school, nor in front of her friends. It was after the dance once we were home. No one around to see it, no posting it online, just for me. The world came to an end the minute I asked for the picture.

#3 - the middle child. She questions everything I say, everything I do. My reasons are never enough. My explanations - not good enough. My way of thinking - not acceptable. Her analysis of the situation always far superior to mine. She has the world all figured out, and certainly not in need of me to help her along the way.

#4 - the crazy child. She just doesn't understand why the rules of the world need to apply to her. She thinks wearing four pairs of underwear is acceptable. Climbing a tree she knows she can't get out of - a wonderful plan. Wearing ripped jeans to church because she 'IS a rock star after all' - completely understandable. Mom interfering with her plans to have seven boyfriends and take over the world - completely inappropriate.

#5 - the baby. His nickname is Bubba. If, heaven forbid, I make him behave or do something he doesn't want to do - his token phrase is 'I won't be your Bubba anymore'. He absolutely pitches a fit when I force him to wear underwear (I know, such a horrible thing to do). And clearly, the point is well taken when I hear 'I am mad at you' twenty times a day.

Apparently, I will not be winning the 'Mother of the Year' Award this year. I think Octomom and Britney may get more nods from their kids this year than I will. I guess my run of good mother ended at about 4931 days (which would have been Christmas if you are counting days). I will put my crown back in the box, and resign myself to just being the housemaid from here on out. But I DID get my pictures, so I will always have the memories......