What I Have Learned - Take Forty-Four

I have learned that you do not always get the people you think you want in your life, instead you get the people you need.

It has been almost a year since I have written publicly, at least in this forum.  Not because I didn't have anything to share.  I just didn't come here to write.

Quick review of my year - good times, bad times, happy times, sad times, trips, holidays, jobs, new things, old things, new people, old people, my past, my future, my here and now.  Caught up - good.

I'm really in a bad place right now.  I will keep those details to myself, except to make my 'I have learned' point.   I've had changes, and heartbreak, sadness, and betrayal.  It may be my biggest lesson in not having the people in your life that you think you may want.  If those people were really that important to, and for, your life, you would never have to go looking for them, because they would be right by your side - for all time.

But then you have the people in your life you need.  I am blessed with some of the most caring, selfless, kind friends imaginable.  My best friend can listen for hours as I spill my heart, cry, yell.  She knows the best balance between saying 'I understand', keeping silent, and playing the devil's advocate.  She is always, I mean ALWAYS there for me.  Sad part - she lives 1400 miles away.

Move closer to home - I have some of the most amazing people in my life here.  I can call a certain friend, ask her what her weekend plans are, and her answer is always, "Would you like to join me?".  I can go months without seeing or speaking to her, and if I call, her response is still the same.  She is one of the most stunning people I know.  Yet I think sometimes, it is lost on her.  Because the most beautiful qualities about her, are those you can't see from the outside.  She has literally changed my life by the outstretching of her hand towards me.  I will be forever grateful she came into my life when she did.

One of the other amazing women in my life just radiates.  One of the things I love most about her is her love for family.  Over the years, I have seen her dedicate her time, her self, and her love to her family.  Selflessly and completely.  She has a Mother's Love, without yet being a Mother.  I can sit and talk to her for hours, and walk away just feeling better, happier, brighter.  She makes my heart smile.

I also have some wonderful online friends, who may not even realize how deeply they touch my life.  A simple message sending hugs and special thoughts, a long conversation sharing stories and insight, prayers sent when things aren't going well.  The few moments they take out of their day for me, will forever live in my heart.

There are not adequate words to express my appreciation to those who have touched my life.  But I have come to realize I have been given these people because I NEED them.  I didn't find them because I was looking, I didn't come across them by wanting them.  They happened in my life, because my heart needed them.

And I am forever blessed....